note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
