The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
