Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
