On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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