allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
