My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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