what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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