So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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