jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
