Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
