Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
