remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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