who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
