dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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