My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
