That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
