So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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