HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
