she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
