just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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