We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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