dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize