feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
