just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
