I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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