Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
