yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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