ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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