You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
