Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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