Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
