Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
