It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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