roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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