Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
