i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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