Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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