Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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