they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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