oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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