So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
