Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have demons in me.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
