These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
