Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
