this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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