..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
