we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize