well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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