Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
