A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
