how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
