I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
