Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize