just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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