It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
