you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
