i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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