Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
