he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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