she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
