I'm so fucking centered right now
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
