Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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