the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
