She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is Oprah even human
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
