There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
