ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
