He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
