i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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