can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
