So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize