My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My bed smells like the plague
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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