my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
