What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
