So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
