I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
